im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
