their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
