By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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