i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
we should paint friendship bongs
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