so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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