just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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