He is an equal opportunity slut.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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