i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
