You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
