just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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