Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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