nut hugger
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
