I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wish i was in the wii world.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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