"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
