i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
