Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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