Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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