Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
