My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
