i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
