At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
