The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
