So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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