She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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