im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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