i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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