Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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