God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
