she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
