My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
