Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
