Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
