Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
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She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
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My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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