I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
