Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
