Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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