I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
