So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Randomize
