Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
