I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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