There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
