he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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