you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize