just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
