can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
