Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize