giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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