I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
