So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
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She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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