i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
