So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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