nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
