i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
