i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
