Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
