dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You dont lie about slip and slides
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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